yours, tiramisu

every day we stray further from god's light... (nyc day 20)

I watched Apple's WWDC 2023 yesterday. This isn't something I usually do, because the diehard Apple fanboys that watch it give me the ick, but since I now own an iPhone, iPad, Mac, and Airpods (gosh, to think I used to have no Apple devices), I enjoy seeing previews of new features I'll get.

Most of the things Apple reveals at these keynotes seem trivial to me, but one thing that caught my eye this year was the $3,499 Apple Vision Pro, Apple's take on a mixed reality headset. They're far from the first in this space (with Meta probably the most notable), but Apple arriving to the scene gives the space legitimacy.

The initial reviews seem generally positive, but even if it turns out to be a great device I can't help but feel like we are straying further and further from the important things. What problem is this headset supposed to solve? Will it improve our quality of life? To me, this device just seems like a way for Apple to usher in the next Big Thing, sell more product, and help other companies peddle increasingly immersive content.

The whole thing also feels very Black Mirror-esque. What's the next frontier after virtual reality? How much longer do we have before we're totally detached from the real world, screens stuffed in our eyes and chips embedded into our brains? Why are we so obsessed with distracting ourselves from reality? (Yes, I know the answer to most of these questions is 'capitalism', but let me ask them anyway!) I'm reminded of this snippet from The Pale King.

pale king screenshot

Thanks to Visa for that screenshot, and on that note, I might as well link his post on relationships I've been turning over in my head for a while now. Some of my favorite bits:

relationships become boring because they get reduced into shell-scripts, patterns and routines – because people avoid the difficult work of communicating hard, painful things to one another. At this point some people, desperate for stimulation, do crazy shit like cheat

it's actually entirely possible to have an affair with your own spouse – just literally decide to break from your routine and ask each other questions about things you don't normally talk about, and be honest with each other. do hard and scary things together

I think a big reason lots of people fail to do this is because they're shy! You can see your spouse naked, and witness each other throwing up, etc – and yet be too shy to ask each other things that are outside of the stable/familiar configuration you've established together

It's easier to be a different version of yourself with a different person. You can open up your heart completely to a stranger at an airport that you'll never see again, but you might worry about the consequences doing it to someone you have a long-standing relationship with

“People think that intimacy is about sex. Intimacy is about truth. When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you can stand in front of them bare and their response is ‘you’re safe with me’- that’s intimacy.” ~ Adi Shakti

Visa theorizes, "lots of people end their relationships because they lack the will or the ability to modify their own behavior. It is easier to start over with someone else than to do the tedious, uncomfortable work of adjusting for each other."

The pattern I’m describing is:

  1. start a relationship
  2. enjoy the good times and good vibes
  3. accumulate “debt” from bad times and bad vibes
  4. fail to address the debt; either avoid it or mishandle it (which makes it worse)
  5. be overwhelmed by the scary debt, ditch the whole thing to repeat the pattern with someone else

A lot of pop culture takes on love is all about the good vibes and romantic gestures – about finding a soulmate who “gets you”. But even if/when you find that person, you’re going to piss each other off! and you have to figure out how to deal with that!

And here's my favorite tweet of it all.

You can find the whole twitter thread here (or you can just read the blog post, which is a compilation of everything).

thank you for reading; write to me at yourstiramisu 🐌 proton dot me

#english #love #nyc #technology