yours, tiramisu

the unbearable fullness of being [a glutton]

I haven't been in a writing mood of late. This weekend wasn't particularly eventful but my brain is swimming with thoughts, so I might as well get them out on paper so I can sleep better.

Sleep has been in short supply. I got up early on Saturday to dogwalk in near freezing temperatures, stayed up late, and found myself back in the cold at 8 AM for soccer today. Being sleep deprived renders me useless. My body need lots of it — ten hours is ideal — and if I go without it for consecutive days I almost always get sick. Today I nodded off multiple times while reading. I don't have the discipline (or the knowhow) to keep midday naps from ruining my sleep cycle, so I slogged through the day by reading standing up, working at the computer, and staying active. I can't wait to end my daytime sleepwalking.

I ate too much this weekend. I went out for lunch yesterday with a friend and tried 양념게장 (yangnyeom gejang, or spicy marinated raw crab) for the first time. Though I prefer it cooked, raw crab is not bad. It has a subtly sweet creaminess to it which pairs well with the bold sweet chili sauce. Extracting the gelatinous flesh from the brittle shells was hard work though; in the end my friend and I both agreed the whole ordeal was more trouble than it was worth.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I miss feeling hungry. I've indulged one three too many meals out this week, which, when supplemented with snack binges at home, has made for long periods of uncomfortable fullness. I still eat the food my mom makes me even when I don't feel like it, but I miss the light clarity an empty stomach brings and the way it makes food taste.

I only plan to dine out once this week to meet a friend visiting from out of town, so I'm hoping I can use this week to reset my eating and sleeping habits. I know my wallet would appreciate it; I haven't broken even for weeks now.

Speaking of money, while I technically have five student groups to teach now, I only taught one this weekend. Two students don't start until next Saturday, one group (the fifth graders) rescheduled to Monday night, and yet another is on hold because of an issue with billing. I feel bad saying this, but when the fifth graders rescheduled I breathed an audible sigh of relief. Don't get me wrong — I still like teaching for the most part, and I could absolutely use more money — but the thought of doing any work makes me crave being horizontal again.

Since I've passed the five lesson mark with my tenth grader, we filled out feedback forms for each other today. She gave me a wonderful review! My supervisor also watches my lesson recordings but her reviews are more critical, with suggestions for improvement in many areas. I know I still have a long way to go but it feels great to know that my student finds my lessons both helpful and enjoyable. I'm glad she appreciates the work I put in and hope she can tell I enjoy teaching her as well. The writing competitions she's chosen are in full swing now, and I'm feeling stressed on her behalf. Thus far I feel that I've given her good guidance on the general direction of her pieces but I'm afraid helpful advice will be harder to come by when she gets closer to the finish line.

The Spanish dinner from Friday night went about as well as I expected. There were seven of us in total: me, two Spanish guys (from Alicante and Madrid), the host, two of her high school friends, and my friend who invited me. Over two tiny tables pushed together in their apartment we shared a homemade meal of noodles in peanut sauce, arugula salad, and lentil soup followed by a dessert of fruit, chocolate, and rice krispies (homemade rice krispies are so much better than the store-bought ones). I sadly don't get many chances to practice my Spanish these days but I was comforted to find it nestled in my back pocket where I left it, a little dusty but still serviceable.

I delighted in getting a chance to stretch my tongue again and sprint through syllables once ever-present in my mouth, but the most rewarding part of dinner was certainly getting to meet the host and her friends. They were all very interesting people and markedly different from my friends. One now teaches elementary school after taking two years off post-graduation to travel the world. The other two are PhD candidates in Civil Engineering passionate about urban design who make art and study languages in their free time. Because my friends are almost uniformly well-off software engineers, lawyers, and doctors with no unique hobbies, sometimes I forget that climbing the corporate ladder and making lots of money is not the only way to live. Hearing from people who worship different things is a breath of fresh air.

yours, tiramisu

#english #food #life #spanish #teaching #wordvomit