slumping my way into vacation
I've been in a slump of late. I haven't been writing, applying for jobs, spending time with friends, or working out. In short, I haven't done much of anything outside of lie in bed all day. I get up in the morning briefly to get the tasks I absolutely need to get done out of the way, then spend the rest of the day vegetating horizontally.
It sounds like a good life, trying to follow the golden windowpanes of sunlight as they make their daily march across my sheets, but in truth comatose doomscrolling is not nearly as restful as it sounds. My rest is tainted by overwhelming guilt, guilt that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing, guilt that I'm being lazy, guilt that I haven't earned this rest. This inactivity isn't normal for me, at least not for the old me, whoever (wherever?) he is.
I have a concert tomorrow in a nearby town which I used as an excuse to take a little day trip. I leave the day after (Friday) for a vacation with the family, so (fingers crossed) the time away will do me some good. I'm certainly excited to get out of the house, though my excitement is tempered by the fact that family vacations have historically not been the most happy of affairs. While my relationship with my parents is much better than it used to be, they still stress out about everything, from airport transportation to getting mugged by drug cartels. I'm a type A extremist too, but my mom puts me to shame. I have more important things to worry about, like keeping my daily nap count under three and picking a Snoopy sticker to use for my lesson slides.
My saving grace this week has been Himiko Kikuchi's Flying Beagle. Driving fast with it turned up loud feels like flying.
P.S. If anyone has recommendations for things to eat do in Cancún, let me know!