yours, tiramisu

rainy days in new york (nyc day 10)

Rainy days in New York are no joke. I regret not bringing my boots—my feet were soaked all day. I contemplated getting my own pair of Hunter short rain boots, but it seems kind of silly for the maybe ~10 days of rain I'll encounter this summer. Should I go home and get my boots? It won't be until June when I can do that, and I also don't want to spend more time than I have to away from the city, so I doubt that will happen.

Yesterday the original plan was to visit the weekly Japan Fes in NoMad (which stands for north of Madison Square Park). We ended up visiting many other places on our way there, but the festival itself turned out to be a dud. I don't know if it was because of the rain, but there were barely any vendors and even fewer visitors.

I've been writing more frequently since moving to NYC, which makes me quite happy, but my blog posts have turned more into public journal entries. Which is fine, but I feel like simply logging what's happening my life is not challenging me as much as writing about ideas was. In any case, I hope you all don't mind reading about my mundane everyday excursions. My life isn't exciting but I do my best to intersperse it with my own editorializing.

I travel for work this week on Tuesday, and I'm kind of dreading it because one: I don't want to leave NYC, and two: I worry about my awful commute to the airport. I had a nice routine nailed down to a T when I traveled from home, but now that I'm in a new place I'll have to get up extra early to ensure I don't miss my flight. Business trips also have a special way of making me feel very lonely; there's something about working with people entirely unlike yourself and masking your true feelings all day that makes nights in the hotel rooms feel like solitary isolation, since no one has really seen the real you all day.

No matter when I go to sleep these days, I keep waking up before eight in the morning. I find it hard to believe I used to be able to sleep until noon. Has the breakup affected me so badly that I'll never be able to sleep well again? Or am I just getting older and needing less sleep?

The song of the day is Sagitario by Valentina Rico, which nearly moved me to tears the first time I heard it. (These days, it seems like that's more a reflection of me than the music I listen to, though.) The music video doesn't even have 2k views yet and no English translation of the lyrics exists, so I thought I'd try my hand at it:

No tiene caso que yo intente no pensarte diario
There's no point trying not to think about you everyday
Y hasta averigüé en internet si combinas con Sagitario
And I even checked online if you match with Sagittarius

Mira que el viento sopla
Watch the wind blow
Y tiene vida propia este sentimiento
And this feeling have a life of its own
Y pasa de largo y se va
And it passes by and goes away
Deja solo recuerdos
and leaves only memories behind

Pero vale soñar, que tú también
But it's worth dreaming, that you also
Quieres que el mundo conspire otra vez
Want the world to conspire again
Que esto no fue casualidad
That this was no coincidence
Que no sentí nunca algo más real
That I've never felt anything more real

Que tu voz en mi voz,
Than your voice in my voice
Diciéndonos adiós, ese día
Saying goodbye, that day
Quedé con más ganas todavía
I was left with even more desire

Bajé la guardia por ti, me volví tan vulnerable
I let my guard for you, I became so vulnerable
Tanto deseo que pediste, cruzaron mis cables
All that desire you asked for, my wires crossed
Soñando tu regreso, mercurio en retroceso
Dreaming of your return, mercury in retrograde
Puede que no vuelva a sentir eso, pero
I may never feel that again, but

Vale soñar, que tú también
But it's worth dreaming, that you also
Quieres que el mundo conspire otra vez
Want the world to conspire again
Que esto no fue casualidad
That this was no coincidence
Que no sentí nunca algo más real
That I've never felt anything more real

Que tu voz en mi voz,
Than your voice in my voice
Diciéndonos adiós, ese día
Saying goodbye, that day
Quedé con más ganas todavía
I was left with even more desire

Que te siento, hasta en los huesos
I feel you, even in my bones
No sirve amarte de lejos
There's no point loving you from afar
Si ni siquiera sabes que te estoy cantando
If you don't even know I'm singing to you

Que te metes hasta en mis sueños,
You show up even in my dreams
No sirve echarte de menos
There's no point missing you
Que ni siquiera sabes lo que estoy sintiendo
If you don't even know what I'm feeling

But life goes on
Without you

Saturday, May 20th, 2023


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