yours, tiramisu

i get too attached to material things

I switched work phones yesterday, from an iPhone 12 to a 13 mini. Saying goodbye to my old phone made me quite emotional, even though I feel like it shouldn't have. All my data is transferred over to the new phone, anyway, and it's not like iPhones are unique or one of one.

And yet, I struggled to say goodbye. I feel a connection with my possessions; it's this very piece of metal and glass and plastic that's been my faithful companion for the past two years, after all.

The 13 Mini's smaller screen makes it harder for me to type, but I like that because it discourages me from using my phone. I also love how much easier it is to hold in my hand and fit it in my pocket. Even still, during the whole transfer process I kept having second thoughts, even though I jumped at the chance to switch to a smaller phone.

Does this attachment make me less of a minimalist? On one hand, I take good care of my things, which means I rarely have to replace them out of necessity. On the other, I'm distraught whenever I damage or lose something I own, probably excessively so. Once I cried because I lost an umbrella. An umbrella!

I think also a part of my emotional distress when I lose something stems from the self-flagellation that follows. When I leave something behind and forget to take it with me, my loss is directly caused by my own actions. There's no one to blame but myself. So guilt and regret compound my misery. I think deep down, I wishfully hope that if I chastise myself enough, I won't forget things anymore. But of course it doesn't work. The only things that have ever worked are logical fixes: writing things down, setting reminder alarms, etc. And sometimes I wonder if I would be better served if I could detach myself emotionally from my things and skip this whole process altogether.

thank you for reading; write to me at yourstiramisu 🐌 proton dot me

#english #minimalism